Do the background work
Finding the right lawyer
The first and foremost requirement is to find a lawyer who specializes in matters related to Family Law. The lawyer you hire will be representing you for several months, or even a year or more, which means finding the right lawyer can make the divorce process a lot easier on you and your family. You might also want to consider hiring the services of a lawyer who has been referred to you by your friends or family members.
It is extremely important to choose a good lawyer who you can trust and feel comfortable with. It may not seem important, but it is essential that you are comfortable with your lawyer as together the two of you will have to unravel your entire marriage and discuss issues that are many-a-times very intimate matrimonial matters. Therefore, comfort level is definitely an important factor.
As explained above, divorce can and will be overwhelming. Hence it is important to pick a lawyer that has resources set in place for you to reach out to whenever you have questions and apprehensions. Your lawyer is going to be your best friend during your divorce, hence it is important to find a reliable and readily available attorney.
Pen-down Every Single Detail
First-things-first! Write down all incidents of importance since the time you got married, leading up to the decision to file for divorce. This write-up should be factually accurate. Try to provide as much detail as possible, write down all the instances in depth.
Also mention the time, date, month and year of the incident if possible, this helps create a timeline. The best way to get organized is by maintaining a journal of all important dates and activities during the divorce stage. This item can come in handy during your divorce and custody proceedings.
Lastly, remember not to hide any information from your lawyer. Your lawyer needs to be aware of everything, good or bad. This way all bases can be covered, so leaves no stone unturned.
Filing a complaint
The next step to keep in mind is that whenever you are filing your first complaint arising out of a matrimonial dispute ensure that you provide all the details in that complaint. This complaint will be traced back and brought up multiple times in the court hearings, so make it factually correct and filled with details. Leave nothing to common sense, everything can be twisted and turned in court. State every minor detail.
The legal proceedings
Different ways in which a divorce case can be filed:
Divorce through Mutual Consent
This can be filed when you and your spouse have amicably decided to end your disputes and together file a petition before the Hon’ble Court.
Contested Divorce Petition:
this is filed when the parties are not able to mutually end their differences and one of the party files a Divorce Petition and the other contests it. Contested divorce in India is a formal way of seeking divorce from your spouse who is not agreeable to the idea of divorce. Contested divorce in India reflects a situation wherein one spouse has finally made up his/ her mind to proceed with divorce.
Grounds for contested divorce, which are commonly used are:-
(i) Divorce on the ground of cruelty.
(ii) Divorce on the ground of adultery
(iii) Divorce on the ground of desertion.
Beside above, there are various other grounds such as unsoundness of mind, civil death, etc. to seek and start contested divorce.
Maintenance
The maintenance is the amount that your husband (in most cases) pays for your and for your children’s upkeep. In layman's terms, divorce maintenance is the husband providing financial support for his wife’s daily expenses. Generally, it’s not just the wife but also the children and the wife’s parents, who are equally entitled to receiving financial aid from the father/husband/son-in-law. This amount can be paid as a one time settlement amount (permanent alimony) or as a monthly maintenance depending on your terms of agreement. You can seek maintenance under section 125 of Code of Criminal Procedure, under section 24 of Hindu Marriage Act, under section 37 of Special Marriage Act or under Domestic Violence Act. Marriages that lasted more than 10 years are entitled to be granted a lifelong alimony. Age of the spouse is also taken into consideration while awarding alimony.
Custody of child
You can either apply for permanent custody or for visitation rights for the child. The mother and father both have an equal right to fight for the custody of the child. However, who gets the custody of the child is a decision that the court finalizes. Regardless of who wins the custody, the other parent gets visitation rights in most cases, the conditions of which are determined by the court. In most cases, the mother usually gets custody of the minor child, under the age of five. Fathers get custody of older boys and mothers of older girls, but it is not a strict rule and is primarily decided based on the child's interests. The choice of a child above the age of nine is also taken into consideration.
Alimony
Alimony refers to court-ordered payments awarded to a spouse or former spouse within a separation or divorce agreement. The reason behind it is to provide financial support to the spouse who makes a lower income, or in some cases, no income at all. Alimony can be awarded to a husband or wife; however, in cases when there are children involved, the man has historically been the breadwinner, and the woman may have given up a career to raise the kids and will be at a financial disadvantage. A divorced spouse often has the right to live the same quality of life he or she had when married.
Few tips if you have decided to file for divorce
Try and settle the divorce amicably
This is an important step in moving on. If you want to move forward you must only look forward to your future and your children’s future. Also try filing a petition through Mutual Consent if possible. Remember it takes two to marry and two to divorce. Hence, to achieve an amicable divorce, you should restrict yourself from speaking negatively about your partner.
Don’t let this affect the children
Please try and shield your children from the bitterness of the divorce. Your children deserve to be kids and should not have to suffer or lose their childhood because of this separation. Also, no matter how messy the divorce do not make your child a pawn in the proceedings. At all times ensure that the welfare of your children is of utmost and prime importance.
Always prepare a MOU
A Memorandum of Understanding is a non-binding agreement between two or more parties outlining the terms and details of an understanding, including each parties' requirements and responsibilities. It must be filled before filing a Petition through Mutual Consent.
Do not withdraw your complaint filed in CAW Cell:
So not do so till the time the Divorce proceedings and other ancillary proceedings (that is a legal proceeding that is not the primary dispute but which aids the judgment rendered in or the outcome of the main action) are pending before Hon’ble Court.
Don’t hide facts from your attorney
Give all the proof and necessary data to your attorney in order that your attorney will link up those points in your petition even before the opposite party raises those points / allegations. Trust your attorney and be assured that she/he can guide you safely through the turmoil of Divorce and proceedings associated with it. Keep in mind that it would get troublesome, however you'll get through it!